Friday, July 8, 2011

Dumb things we hate to hear when pregnant.....

So in light of being pregnant and obviously annoyed at many of the uneducated comments and remarks…..I decided to blog about stupid things people say to pregnant people. I mean really, if you are a woman and have had a baby you’ve possibly had (I wanna be a know it all and say that YOU HAVE HAD) someone say SOMETHING stupid and offensive to you. So here we go:
“When are you due?” In due season…I’m not a library book! Truly this question begins to annoy me at the end…..

“Were you big before?” B L A N K S T A R E…….

“Have you noticed your butt has gotten bigger?” No I stopped taking showers and bathing once I found out we were expecting…..S M H

“You are in for a lot of work…” Anything worth having is worth working for…..blech!

“Are you excited?!” No! (With a big ole kool-aid smile rubbing my belly lovingly)

“Triplets?” Once I bite your head off…yep!

“So this is number 4? Whew braaaave woman…” No whoever did you are brave….(forgive me Lord….)

“So is this your last one?” Why, is my name on your dependents list?

“Are you sure they didn’t leave one in there?” Are you sure you haven’t heard of postpartum rage?!

“You don’t know what it is?! I HAVE to know!” B L A N K S T A R E I thought this was about me…..sigh.

“You have all boys? I bet you hope it’s a girl this time!” No I was hoping for an octopus!

“Are you pregnant?” That’s it….!!!!! (pulls out gun)

“You’re getting your tubes tied after this?!” Wait…..did WE make this baby together?! Really….

“OOOOHHH!!! I know what you been doing!!!” (blushing)Thanks I enjoy it very much….just finished before we walked in here!

“Are you pregnant…or did you just have one?!” Looking at my other kids aged 7, 4, & 2…..sigh…really…

“Every time I see you, you’re pregnant…” Well now that you know what to expect, shut up.

“It’s hard being a single mom isn’t it?” My husband walks up with our other seven well behaved offspring. It’s hard being a parent P E R I O D!!!!!

“You look uncomfortable…you look like you are about to explode…You look so tired…you must not be able to sleep with that belly…” B L A N K S T A R E…..waiting for an opportunity to talk…

“Just wait……..” No you just wait til I waddle my behind over there….

“How are yall going to afford another child?” Since you brought it up, I need about…….

Well I could keep going…I hope you add some in the comments and add a lil punchline too!!! God knows I need it. Also, a very special “send my heart out to” two friends who had stillbirths and were treated with ill regard and respect by the medical community and even “us.” I truly CAN imagine, only imagine the pain you must have experienced….Love you both so much!!!

OK so remember these next time you see a life carrier……

1 comment:

  1. Some "lady" from church- "TWINS?"

    (I'm only 3 months & most ppl. can't tell I'm pregnant yet, she didn't know until I told her).

    Me- "I wish"

    Her- "well if it is you can get (scissor sign in the air) get cut, hu?"

    Me- "Oh no way, I'd never do that"

    Her- (disgusted look) "Well how many more!"

    Me- As many as HE wills. (I walk away)with my 5yr old, 3 yr old & 1 yr old.

    I thought we believed in the same God here lady? PS, since when do I owe you an explanation we've talk a total of 3 times in 4 years. Get a grip & some self control, it's one of the fruits of the spirit not to go running your yap.